Social media gurus can read the whole Internet in one sitting – I know, I read their book!

I’m a social media guru.  I’m from the future.  I’m here to save you from your online self.

The Terminator, social media guru’s, and cyborg’s can read the Internet in a day.  Social media guru’s are so awesome.  They can save you.  They have a “social media strategy”.  They can create you a “social media campaign”.  They quote everything with their fingers.  They have been to the SXSW conference.   They have had a blog for the past 6 months.  They think they are hip because they wear hipster glasses and have almost 30 followers on Twitter. They are awesome retweeters.  They create nothing.  Criticize everything.  They will tell you how much you should be grateful for their presence.

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